Sunday, October 12, 2014

Out of the Woods, Into the ... ?

I love our lawyer. And not just because she got our money back (and got us out of the remaining $14k) but because she was therapeutic to talk to and wrote a kick-ass letter detailing everything that went down. (We had a cataract of emails proving everything, which helped.) They might have given us our money back without a lawyer, but her sending the letter to everyone concerned I hope will make it less likely that this will be swept under the rug. They were so awful that we felt a duty to try to prevent other kids from going through anything like this.

HB went through a really rough spell. Worst were the nightmares, which hed never had before, amazingly enough. In one of them teachers were torturing him with whips and axes. And he did chew his nails off again.

As for what to do with him ... he really didnt want to stay home. He was bored, and it made him feel like damaged goods. But the very idea of teachers and homework etc. gave him panic attacks. So I went on a hunt for a school without those things.

And I found one! Just two miles away! Its new, small, and total mayhem: no curriculum, no grades, no formal instruction, no homework, no report cards ... but it does have a really good drum kit. Its like it was made for HB. Hes about as self-directed as they come, but I truly do not care if he learns another shred of standard curricular crap at this point. They had room for him, he started two weeks ago, and the nightmares are gone. Hes still ... “clingy” doesnt really describe it; hes like a baby kangaroo hunting for my pouch. And the rages are still happening, but they are spreading out more and more, and I’ve seen him smile and even laugh.

And he just came in and made me watch this:

HB's Theme

Meanwhile, I quit my job. I had to give six months notice so its not quite as dramatic as that sounds, but it’s a pretty big deal after 12 years. But thats a post for another day.


jill said...

Hee. The mash up makes me think he is going to be just fine. It's amazing how he can almost see his situation from the outside. So glad you found a great place for him.

Anonymous said...

So glad you got your money back and found a new school for your son. Yes, you must focus on what is best for you and your family at this time. The rest is optional.....

Anonymous said...

Good to hear that a path has been found. You might consider checking out "A Little Pregnant"'s blog for her experience with their "hippie do as you please school." (very positive)


Becky said...

I am So Happy right now!!! Yay!!!!

Denise said...

I'm so glad you found something that is working for you and HB! He will love that school, hope there are animals he can help take care of!!!

Anonymous said...

You are a great mom. victoria

Anonymous said...

Hooray! I hope HB is working on his shoulder-action swagger, a la John Travolta. So glad life is looking up.

- Texas Anon

Anonymous said...

I don't know you and found you recently via your posts about running, but this made me cry... I'm so glad that things are so much better. *hugs from a stranger*


jenG said...

I think of you and HB every time I put my running shoes on. True story--just some positive thoughts every other day or so from a total stranger.

I'm glad you've found a good place for HB. I think he's a truly exceptional kid...which is too easy to miss or crush with the usual school experience. Wishing your family all the best--hope you will let us know how it goes.

Beth said...

I'm just catching up, but I'm so, so happy that you found a place that will be good for your son. And I want to kick that other principal in the shins. You are an awesome mom to work so hard for your son's well-being and to let him be who he is. Sending you lots of love!

- Beth

Val said...

Glad to hear of this momentous news (A.) REFUND, boo-ya! & B.)HB's new school)... Sometimes I wish I could quit MY job ;-) - this has been a rough week; most of the time it's GOOD to be the boss but this week, not so much!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Dr. Mama, this is Victoria Pond. I'm deeply interested in what's going on with your family and I want you to know that I wish you the best. I really mean that. I think you're a wonderful person and you have made the world a better place.

If you have the time and inclination please let me know what's going on with you. (No worries if you don't have the time.) I think you're great. I love your blog and I think you have a great impact on the world and on me. I'm the converted runner who used to have to take Vicodin for back pain. You once posted a pic of me & my dog.

My email address is


Anonymous said...

Dr. Mama, I miss you and think about you and your family all the time. I hope everything is well with you. Around the time you published your last post, The New Yorker ran an article by Lena Dunham titled "Growing Up, With Help." It chronicles her anxiety and OCD from an early age (like, 7, I think), and she goes into detail about the various therapists and medications that helped her get through it. Today in her early twenties, she's one of the most successful, happy, productive people on the planet, as far as I can tell. I wanted to recommend the article to you at the time, but my attempt at a comment didn't succeed. --Victoria Pond

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Quinr said...

Dear Dr Mama, just checking by as I do from time to time, hoping things are better/ok/good with you. I think of you often, and your excellent advice re slow running. I hope quitting your job has been liberating and given you some space. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Hi DoctorMama! You have stopped posting. I miss you and I'm a little bit worried. I hope everything is OK with you and your family. It would be nice to hear from you again.
Best of luck