Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Hellish Boy

HellBoy/AngelBaby is turning two soon. I know I complain about him a lot, so in honor of his birthday (and in case he ever learns to read and stumbles across this blog), here are:

10 (Relatively) Good Things About My Boy
  1. While he's still doing ... that, he refers to nursing as "milk please," which is convenient when we're out someplace and I'm not in the mood to get into a discussion of the pros and cons of Extended Breastfeeding. I can just say cheerily, "Sure, you can have some milk when we get home!" (I've semi-deliberately refrained from teaching him any words for the equipment; his phrase for breast is "milk there." He'll also say "switch sides," which I think is rather polite.)
  2. He has not gotten more hellish. I've noticed that some easygoing babies become rather less so when they become toddlers, and their parents are left flatfooted. HB hasn't gotten easier, but at least we're in shape now. And the more he can do and say, the happier he is. Which is awfully nice, since he used to spend so much of his time in a fury.
  3. He's a good sleeper, provided he's not in his own bed.
  4. His sentences are in pretty decent working order, and include the depressing "Mama pager answer it"; the informative "HellBoy make a mess"; and my personal favorite, "Dog penis touch it" (he did).
  5. He can be bribed with candy, but he doesn't eat it. He will stay strapped in his carseat gazingly lovingly at a lollipop for long enough to get across town, then trade the lolly for a slice of tomato.
  6. He loves to take medicine as long as he can drink it from a little cup, first rolling it between his palms like a lush about to take a shot.
  7. Being so small, he wears out many of his clothes before growing out of them, which is economical. He also doesn't require large quantities of food.
  8. He can spell his name. (He believes he can write it too, but unless you're a connoisseur of performance art/interpretive dance, it's not recognizable.)
  9. He likes to pee in the potty sometimes. And only peed on me once tonight.
  10. I had been worried about his tendency toward violence, but he's become quite gentle—with babies, animals, flowers, books, his mother. In fact, he appears to be becoming something of a pacifist.


Feral Mom said...

Happy Birthday, AB!

Gregory House, PA-C said...

haha I love the shirt - trying to tell him something, or just trying to fool others? As for the breastfeeding I've heard of people going as long as until their children are 8y.o. I would look at it as a challenge. Screw the marathons.

Happy Birthday AB. Give them hell and show them what the terrible two's are really all about. It makes for funnier blog entries too.

Orange said...

A pacified pacifist...perfect!

And don't worry about his lack of development in hellishness. He's young yet. There's plenty of time for the twos to grow terrible!

What would Freud say about the fondness for looking at a reward lollipop without eating it?

Anonymous said...

HB/AB and I share the same birthday. So he's cool in my book!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday AB/HB : )

Anonymous said... oldest was an Angel Baby all around, with nary a hellish trait to remark upon, and my middle guy, so far, is a Hell Boy, through and through. But the little moments when he DOES do something sweet, like snuggle up to me with his blankie or gently smooth his baby brother's hair (without then attempting to reach in and pith the baby through his fontanel like a frog) are so VERY sweet that it is worth all of the hellishness.
Happy birthday, AB/HB. Smear cake EVERYWHERE.

Anonymous said...

Well, I just got home from a depressingly frequent psychologist appointment where the psychologist was trying to make me laugh because my depressed mood has pretty much eliminated that in recent weeks despite enough medications to make 7 people happy for years. "Dog penis touch it", that pretty much did it. I laughed aloud. So you can maybe add "makes random depressed strangers laugh" to his achievements? said...

Happy birthday, sweetie! And I second Anonymous' comment... I switched SSRIs abruptly earlier this week; "dog penis touch it" is one of only a few things which can consistently put a dent in my Paxil-withdrawl funk. A hilarious, hilarious dent.

Was that title a shout-out to Muddy Waters? And am I the first to get it? *does dance of geekery*

I think there should be a version of HellBoy's t-shirt for IVF mamas/daddies which states "Make Love, Not War... Although Neither One Is Very Successful Without The Appropriate Funding".

Anonymous said...

My first child was such an angel--slept all the time, nursed well, and was so happy. She hit 10 months, started walking, and four years later, life has never been the same. She is hellonwheels, and according to my mom, is ME made over. We shall see with my newest family member.
Happy second birthday!!!

Anonymous said...

happy birthday!!!

Anonymous said...

Just a shout out for bfing toddlers! Nothing calmed my oldest better than an offer of milk- that said I just weaned the twins @ 2.5 'cause I was so dang tired.

E. said...

Yay! Happy two, AB/HB! What a cutie. Those eyes!

On the topic of THAT, I planned to let my boy wean himself and fervently hoped he'd do it before three. And he did. A little past two and a half. Enjoy it while it lasts. I'm so grateful I didn't have to cut my toddler off, and am really glad to be done and have my breasts back full-time, but I also miss that automatic comfort device for post-vaccination and other traumas.

Anonymous said...

The tomato thing is bloody marvelous. Did you TRAIN him to do that? How can I make my future critter do the same? :)

I mean. Being able to use your candy as a bribe, and eat it too- it's pure genius.

Fat Doctor said...

Son is not yet 22 months, but he is nowhere near sentences, with or without verbs. Lucky you - got yourself a TALKER! Watch out...

Return Of Saturn said...

Oh. My. Goodness. Those eyes! DM, your HB is a doll. Happy Birthday to him!

So, after plowing through your blog tonight I've (1) gone for a one mile run after not having worked out in any way, shape, or form for the last two months, (2) signed up for a 5K-which, ahem, takes place in 13 days, and (3) signed up for one post-bacc class.

So, thanks! I'm looking forward to all your future posts.

DoctorMama said...

I'm so glad that "dog penis touch it" could brighten someone's day. I think the dog enjoyed it too. I did wash his hands afterward, by the way. (And no weird google hits yet, amazingly.)

Yes,, you got the reference, and you get the Geek of the Week award.

So, E, I might not be sending care packages to college on dry ice?

Did I train him to eat tomatoes instead of candy? God no, and he didn't inherit it from me, either. Just plain luck.

The eyes are 100% his father's.

Yeah, he's a talker all right. Tonight at dinner I finally said to my husband, "Can YOU please answer him for a little while?"

ROS, way to go.