How about some more “kids say the darndest things,” since it won me an award last time?
HB, bringing me the doll he calls his “little sister”: Criss-cross applesauce, sit down on the floor and close your eyes!
[I obediently sit cross-legged on the floor. HB lifts my shirt and tucks the doll under it.]
HB: OK, now, you’re going to feel something a little weird, but don’t worry, it’s just your va gina stretching as the baby is born! [Pulls the doll back out.]
Me: [muffled horrified laughter] Is everything okay?
HB: Oh sure. Your va gina is already going back to normal—look down! Now say, “What’s this white stuff in my breasts?”
Me: … what’s this … white stuff ... in my breasts?
HB: Did you forget? It’s milk! For the baby! Feed her!
I swear I haven’t been drilling him with inappropriately detailed info on where babies come from. Don’t all the books say to just answer the questions asked? Well, he asked how babies get out, and then he kept probing and probing and probing … and clearly remembered it all. At least he didn’t seem freaked out by it. He knows more about the process than some pregnant people.
Changing the subject yet again: I got this for my husband (the Pro version), and I’m astonished to report that it works—I no longer have the distasteful task of nagging him out of bed.
(I did respond more on the last post, if you want to look in the comments.)