Not depressed anymore, just unbelievably overbooked. Doesn’t feel as bad when I’m not depressed, at least.
I try to refrain from posts on “kids say the darndest things,” but I’m too busy to think of something better, and I have to get at least one post in for September.
The other evening I was in a restaurant bathroom with HellBoy. He is looking at me in his usual serious way.
HB: You know, not all grown women have furry va ginas.
Me: Um, they don’t?
HB: No. They have – well, you know how little girls’ va ginas look?
Me: Yes?
HB: They look like that, only much bigger.
Me: Have you – seen one like that?
HB: Ms. L at school. Her skirt came up on the playground.
Me: Uh, and she didn’t have underwear on?
HB: She did, but it kind of came up too … it’s complicated. But I saw hers. And it was like a little girl’s. But it was GINORMOUS [holding hands far apart from each other].
What was his tone like for "GINORMOUS"? Serious = successful future in the field of labioplasty. Awestruck = reincarnation of R. Crumb. Which would mean fantastic art to hang on your fridge, come to think of it.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome!
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell kind of school is that?
ReplyDeleteDid you ask more how this happened? This is hilarious.
love.that.kid.
ReplyDeleteThat was postworthy if anything is.
oh my god hilarious. and I bet the teacher wears pants every day for the rest of her life!! HA!
ReplyDeleteWOW. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteUmmm... OMG!! Seriously too funny!!
ReplyDeleteOh, my.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part is "...it's complicated." Such a wealth of meaning there.
ReplyDeleteBWAAAHHAAAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteWhen my now 16 year old was just about HB's age...instead of vagina he said "giant."
Ummm, I really have no idea how HB is so well versed in female genitalia. I'm pretty sure at his age I didn't know girls had different "parts." Maybe I was slow...
ReplyDeletewow.
ReplyDeleteA ginormous vagina. I'm pretty sure that's a compliment - somewhere in the world. LOL!
ReplyDeleteNew word: vaginormous.
ReplyDeletetoo funny! LOL
ReplyDeletehilarious!
ReplyDeletefunny one! love hellboy!
Obviously you must have a furry one otherwise he would have come to that conclusion much earlier.
ReplyDeleteHilarious. What a conversation. Thank god you have a blog, or how would you have shared it with the world? I love that he used the word "furry." I totally prefer to think of my cooter as furry rather than hairy.
ReplyDeleteThis post contains a month's worth of goodness.
Really funny. I'm impressed with his knowledge of vaginas.
ReplyDeleteFurry?
ReplyDeleteROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!
Something to look forward to when I have kids.
HA!!!
ReplyDeleteAWESOME!! I cannot decide if the complicated or the ginormous is the best part. Wow! We need some of that hilarity occasionally I think.
ReplyDeleteComplicated? I'm having trouble wrapping my head around that one.
ReplyDeleteMy kid recently asked me if her kindergarten teacher had hair on her parts. I sputtered a bit.
And they say these kids today aren't getting educated. Hell, I didn't know about Brazilians until I was 32. HB has a head start, to say the least!
ReplyDeletethis is the funniest thing i've read in a long, long time.
ReplyDeleteOMG! I keep coming back and rereading this...each and everytime I totally crack up! Of course it helps that I have 12 and 5 year old boys of my own and know all too well they are full of surprises! He is certainly a keeper! Vaginormous...LMAO!
ReplyDeleteFurry Vaginas are tastier.
ReplyDeleteHi DoctorMamma,
ReplyDeleteWanted to let you know I am on my sixth week of running slow every other day! I like it! Thanks for the formula. I promised myself a good pair of shoes if I could stay with it for a month. Off to shop!
Laura
Hi DoctorMama-
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog a couple days ago, I think on the ScienceWomen blogroll. Your posts on running are EXACTLY what I needed to hear at this time. I had started running in June, slowly like you say even though I hadn't even heard of this blog then, and I was feeling some fantastic physical (and mental/emotional) results. I felt strong for the first time in years. I lost fifteen pounds. Then September came, the days got shorter, and with getting the kids on the school bus I lost some free time in the morning. I ran on the weekends only, and I had not run for two weeks, when I stumbled across your blog. When I arrived home yesterday, I saw all the usual chores, the laundry to put away, etc. Then I said to myself, "F___ it, I'm going running!" It was wonderful. I'll be a maggot from now on! :)
I have twin girls.
ReplyDeleteShould I simply be afraid, or very afraid? :)
And as an aside, having twins? Utter and total career suicide in medicine. I may as well have inhaled cyanide in large volumes. No body will take my job applications seriously anymore. Waah!
J
This is a fantastic post. I am going to have to keep reading.
ReplyDelete