Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Brazilian Boy

Not depressed anymore, just unbelievably overbooked. Doesn’t feel as bad when I’m not depressed, at least.

I try to refrain from posts on “kids say the darndest things,” but I’m too busy to think of something better, and I have to get at least one post in for September.

The other evening I was in a restaurant bathroom with HellBoy. He is looking at me in his usual serious way.

HB: You know, not all grown women have furry va ginas.
Me: Um, they don’t?
HB: No. They have – well, you know how little girls’ va ginas look?
Me: Yes?
HB: They look like that, only much bigger.
Me: Have you – seen one like that?
HB: Ms. L at school. Her skirt came up on the playground.
Me: Uh, and she didn’t have underwear on?
HB: She did, but it kind of came up too … it’s complicated. But I saw hers. And it was like a little girl’s. But it was GINORMOUS [holding hands far apart from each other].

31 comments:

Jul said...

What was his tone like for "GINORMOUS"? Serious = successful future in the field of labioplasty. Awestruck = reincarnation of R. Crumb. Which would mean fantastic art to hang on your fridge, come to think of it.

Not on Fire said...

That is awesome!

The MSILF said...

What the hell kind of school is that?

Did you ask more how this happened? This is hilarious.

r3 said...

love.that.kid.
That was postworthy if anything is.

Shirky said...

oh my god hilarious. and I bet the teacher wears pants every day for the rest of her life!! HA!

Vacant Uterus said...

WOW. Awesome!

Heather said...

Ummm... OMG!! Seriously too funny!!

Orange said...

Oh, my.

electriclady said...

My favorite part is "...it's complicated." Such a wealth of meaning there.

Nicole (SummersComing) said...

BWAAAHHAAAHAHAHA!

When my now 16 year old was just about HB's age...instead of vagina he said "giant."

Dr. Wannabe said...

Ummm, I really have no idea how HB is so well versed in female genitalia. I'm pretty sure at his age I didn't know girls had different "parts." Maybe I was slow...

Anonymous said...

wow.

monicac2 said...

A ginormous vagina. I'm pretty sure that's a compliment - somewhere in the world. LOL!

Orange said...

New word: vaginormous.

Tiffany said...

too funny! LOL

Anonymous said...

hilarious!

funny one! love hellboy!

Kim said...

Obviously you must have a furry one otherwise he would have come to that conclusion much earlier.

E. said...

Hilarious. What a conversation. Thank god you have a blog, or how would you have shared it with the world? I love that he used the word "furry." I totally prefer to think of my cooter as furry rather than hairy.

This post contains a month's worth of goodness.

Candid Engineer said...

Really funny. I'm impressed with his knowledge of vaginas.

Old MD Girl said...

Furry?

ROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!

Something to look forward to when I have kids.

Dara said...

HA!!!

Eve said...

AWESOME!! I cannot decide if the complicated or the ginormous is the best part. Wow! We need some of that hilarity occasionally I think.

Magpie said...

Complicated? I'm having trouble wrapping my head around that one.

My kid recently asked me if her kindergarten teacher had hair on her parts. I sputtered a bit.

Feral Mom said...

And they say these kids today aren't getting educated. Hell, I didn't know about Brazilians until I was 32. HB has a head start, to say the least!

Lori said...

this is the funniest thing i've read in a long, long time.

Paula said...

OMG! I keep coming back and rereading this...each and everytime I totally crack up! Of course it helps that I have 12 and 5 year old boys of my own and know all too well they are full of surprises! He is certainly a keeper! Vaginormous...LMAO!

Anonymous said...

Furry Vaginas are tastier.

Anonymous said...

Hi DoctorMamma,

Wanted to let you know I am on my sixth week of running slow every other day! I like it! Thanks for the formula. I promised myself a good pair of shoes if I could stay with it for a month. Off to shop!
Laura

Deb said...

Hi DoctorMama-

I just found your blog a couple days ago, I think on the ScienceWomen blogroll. Your posts on running are EXACTLY what I needed to hear at this time. I had started running in June, slowly like you say even though I hadn't even heard of this blog then, and I was feeling some fantastic physical (and mental/emotional) results. I felt strong for the first time in years. I lost fifteen pounds. Then September came, the days got shorter, and with getting the kids on the school bus I lost some free time in the morning. I ran on the weekends only, and I had not run for two weeks, when I stumbled across your blog. When I arrived home yesterday, I saw all the usual chores, the laundry to put away, etc. Then I said to myself, "F___ it, I'm going running!" It was wonderful. I'll be a maggot from now on! :)

Geohde said...

I have twin girls.

Should I simply be afraid, or very afraid? :)


And as an aside, having twins? Utter and total career suicide in medicine. I may as well have inhaled cyanide in large volumes. No body will take my job applications seriously anymore. Waah!

J

thisiswhyidrink said...

This is a fantastic post. I am going to have to keep reading.