Thursday, May 04, 2006

Tagged As A Weirdo (6 Things)

  1. I like the smell of B.O. Both that of others and my own. Unfortunately I have never gone out with anyone who agrees with me on this matter, so I am forced to maintain personal hygiene. I do enjoy traveling in developing countries.

  2. I have nonopposable thumbs. I can only flex the first joint of my thumbs about 15 degrees, so unless I also bend my pinky/hand, I cannot oppose them. I am less evolved than a chimpanzee.

  3. But I do have outrageous facial muscle control. For instance, I can close each eyelid independently of the other. I don't mean winking—I mean closing each eye in an entirely relaxed fashion while keeping the other completely open. I can also wiggle my ears (in tandem and independently); raise my eyebrows alternately; wiggle my nose; and fold my tongue into the shape of a clover. I have not found a use for any of these talents beyond entertaining drunk people at parties.

  4. I do not watch TV. Not for any moral or philosophical reasons—I just never get around to it. I've never seen Gray's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, any of the reality shows ... how do people have the time? I think I must be less efficient than everyone else.

  5. I have never made out with anyone I did not also have sex with. I find tongue kissing more intimate than intercourse, so I could imagine having sex without kissing, but not the other way around.

  6. I will not wear navy blue. It depresses me.

21 comments:

E. said...

I'm with you on the B.O. But only some people's. I like my own, though I try to keep it moderately tamed (with Tom's of Main, the moderate deoderant) for the sake of others. I love my man's funky smell. For me, it's a total aphrodisiac. The night we hooked up he was reeking and I said "you smell great!" and he was relieved.

I read somewhere that if you are attracted to the smell of someone's B.O. it's a sign that you are genetically compatible (i.e. have a high likelihood of making good babies). Any commentary on that, as a medical professional?

bihari said...

I remember being on a bus in Tanzania once, sitting next to a Maasai tribesman and his blanket, which I think he'd been wearing for about fifty years. It was such an intense smell that it sort of carried me to new places: I could see the baby goats he'd been herding, smell the chai cooking over open fires...well, not really. But it made a hell of an olfactory impression. You'd have been in heaven.

thumbscre.ws said...

Four Weird Replies About ME:

Re: #1... I primarily like my own smell. Freakishly enough (and not in some weird, Electra-complex way), I smell almost EXACTLY the same as my father does (when my sisters and I were small, we used to run up to him and smell his t-shirt after he'd been out mowing the lawn during summertime).

I have no interesting facial tricks, other than being able to blow bubbles out of my eye while underwater. Can't cross my eyes, can't wink. I can split a peeled banana into three longitudinal segments using only tongue-power, but this has impressed precisely no one.

I watch one hour of TV per week: "Lost". I don't usually go for traditionally hunky men, but Josh Holloway can (insert tropical entendre here: peel my mango, climb my palm tree, um... use an improvised net of palm fronds to dredge my shoreline for edible mollusks?) ANY day. J.Q. has never watched TV... not because I'm trying to be an uber-mom (case in point: fed baby 2" of Pop Tart this AM), but because my own infrequent viewing makes it pretty alien to turn the thing on.

In total agreement with the last one... forget red: navy blue is the color of Satan.

Orange said...

1. I'm not a fan of out-and-out BO, but the smell of my skin with dried sweat on it is cool. My husband smells good—except for after he's gone for a run, when the sweat tips over the line to acrid.

3. My husband can flip his tongue over. This is also completely useless, as it turns out.

5. Oh, I totally kissed around in college. I only had sex with two guys, but there were probably 20 to 30 guys I made out with. Some people have lousy technique, and you really don't wanna make out with someone who's recently chewed tobacco.

thatlydiagirl said...

Oh, man, i hear you on the kissing thing. I always found it to be incredibly intimate and I can't imagine kissing someone casually, ever, at least not anymore. I also enjoy B.O., too, heh.

ozma said...

There seems to be a consensus on B.O. Wouldn't it be funny if everyone likes their own B.O? Actually, that seems sort of sad. We all like our own B.O. and yet we are forced to conceal it.

But navy blue? What've you got against navy blue? It's so...jaunty.

Actually, now that you mention it I'm starting to see Lands End turtlenecks and those horrible t-shirts with the kind of longish short sleeves that hand down kind of low and are made for the middle aged body and they are all in navy blue. Wow. I've developed a sudden aversion to navy blue. You're good!

Laura said...

At last!
someone else is a freak of nautre like me....no offense.
I thought I was the only one who is able to cloes one eyelid at a time . Conversely, I can not wink....I know, I accept the weirdness.
Love your list!

DoctorMama said...

e. – you must be referring to this study, where they had people sniff sweaty t-shirts. It’s a Swiss study, oddly enough.

bihari – fifty years of goat stank? I’m not sure I’d be able to handle it.

thumbscre.ws – you didn’t set up your tampon testing bananas with your tongue, did you?

orange – you are such a slut.

ozma – you must mean these. This one isn’t navy, but I agree, the cut alone is enough to depress anyone.

Laura – I can’t do a “real” wink either. I mean, it looks ok, but it feels totally forced, like trying to sing off key when you have perfect pitch. (Though I have no idea what that is like, actually.)

DoctorMama said...

oops, link to the study doesn't work. The citation is: Proc Biol Sci. 1997 Oct 22;264(1387):1471-9. Body odour preferences in men and women: do they aim for specific MHC combinations or simply heterozygosity? Wedekind C, Furi S. (if anyone wants to check it out, which you probably don't).

Tokyo Rosa said...

A prof at my university named Randy Thornhill used to do studies on BO and MHC compatibility. (Maybe he still does...) Anyway, turns out that when women are on birth control pills, they are more attracted to men who have very similar MHC genes (ie, their brothers, fathers, etc.), but when they go off birth control pills, they are more attracted to men with dissimilar MHC genes.

What does this mean?

Maybe it means that if you are attracted to a man and you are on birth control pills, that you shouldn't get married to that man--??

And...

I think sweaty men smell gross. (Sweaty women, too.) But maybe that's because I have opposable thumbs and can't roll my tongue. Also, I don't watch TV, but that's because it's boring. I have enough time to maintain a blog, so I don't think it's a matter of time management.

Um.

Navy blue is just a color...and...

Kissing is hot. But sex? Too intimate. Kissing is like looking at brochures of vacation spots. I may want to visit, but do I really want to spend the money to travel there? Most times, no.

I'm drunk right now. That's my only excuse for this totally random post.

Love you, Dr. Mama.

Old MD Girl said...

I think there was also a study by Martha McClintock that showed that women who were asked to smell a whole bunch of sweaty t-shirts liked the one belonging to her man the most. Maybe this was part of the initial attraction? Anyway, I think the effect is heighened during ovulation.

Denise said...

"...use an improvised net of palm fronds to dredge my shoreline for edible mollusks..."

Best metaphor ever.

Do you see a little handicapped symbol next to the word verification? Why is that?

Paticus said...

if you click on the handicapped symbol, it reads out numbers and letters for someone to type in.

E. said...

Thanks for hipping me to that study, DoctorMama. I found it very interesting (what I could decipher). How great to have one of those "I've heard..." things verified. Now I can say "a 1997 study found..." Righteous.

Val said...

I don't have opposable thumbs today at least: I got bitten on my L thumb by a Yorkie w/a septic mouth, then I scraped up my R thumb on a farm call w/2 skittish mares & a silly little donkey...
But I do loves me the smell of my sweaty man; he's learned NOT to shower sometimes!

MJ said...

I, too, hate navy blue. I've tried to like it. I've bought several outfits over the years that feature navy blue. I even had a navy blue suit custom-tailored in Italian wool. And yet, somehow, when I get the clothes home I hate them. With a passion. Once--while depressed--I bought navy blue sheets. Why? But I'm so damn thrifty I can't throw them out!

I can do nothing interesting with any of my appendages. I think you'll be able to amuse your son with these feats in in years to come. Just think how it will alleviate the boredom in some line-up. I'm forced to think up some damn game. You get to wiggle various parts of your body. Way better.

roo said...

I love stupid human tricks!

I wish I could wiggle my ears, but I've been trying for thirty years now so I don't think it's gonna happen. However, I can roll my eyes around independent of each other, and I have highly developed eyebrow dexterity. And my finger are double-jointed.

My husband can only lift one eyebrow, and wiggle one ear (on opposite sides of his head), and I had a boyfriend in college who had full ear control but couldn't work his eyebrows separately at all.

From this, I deduced that wiggling ears precluded wiggling brows, and vice versa.

But you've blown that theory right out of the water. Plus you can do that clover-tongue thing. I'm so jealous!

Anonymous said...

So, as well as having a great bod you can do tongue gymnastics as well!

Fiona
(owner of recessive non-rolling gene - huh!)

Orange said...

Hey, nobody's called me a slut since college! And that was only because they mistakenly thought I was fucking around, not kissing around. I was a slut only when I was a virgin.

Can you fake a burp? My poor husband lacks this important skill. My child, fortunately, has inherited his mother's stellar abilities in this area.

My word verification: xrasise. It's like I can't spell!

Alexa said...

I have ALWAYS dreamed of being able to raise just one eyebrow. It is a gesture that is so frequently called for.

I don't get the BO thing, though. I appear to be in the minority. Although I don't mind the smell of the Nearly's BO so very much. But in general? Blecch.
Perhaps I am less evolved than you, DoctorMama. Although I DO have opposable thumbs...

Mignon said...

Sure, sure, BO is great and all, but have you ever been on crowded [insert public transportation mechanism here], surrounded by a tour group of middle-aged French men? Apparently there's good rank BO and bad rank BO.

So your opposable thumb gene somehow ended up in your face? I'd like to see a study about that.