Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Hello, E!

Someone who knows me in the physical world has discovered my blog. (Hi, E! Welcome!) I figured she would eventually, since we read some of the same blogs, but I wanted her to stumble on my blog honestly — i.e. following a link she was interested in (or insulted by, as it turned out!). I knew she'd recognize me instantly, mostly because of the photo (which she took, I think) but also because I really do call HellBoy/AngelBaby those names, poor child. I haven't actually given out my blog name to anyone, however. TrophyHusband of course could easily track me down, because I talk to him about the blog (and leave my laptop lying around), but he's promised not to.

There's actually nothing on the blog that I wouldn't want TH to read (or haven't told him about), but there's something very therapeutic for me in having something that's just for me. Also, he is not a great secret-keeper, so he could leak the info inadvertently to someone I really wouldn't want to be reading it. I've seen a few good blogs go down in flames because they got outed to the real world. I don't want to have to be thinking about everyone's feelings when I write. And of course, although I don't talk about specific patients, I wouldn't want my patients to think I might talk about them, and I do say some non-complimentary things about patients in general.

Yet I do feel like I'm missing out on some things. It would be nice to be able to use the blog to keep up with far-flung friends, for instance, so I'm pondering whether to give it out to a couple of them ... would that be a slippery slope, though? Or perhaps I would feel pressure to change what I write about?

I guess I'll have to wait and see how it feels to have E around. She's very shy about commenting, so I'll have to encourage it if I want to know what it's like -- so, come on, E, drop me a line, why don't you?

7 comments:

Nancy said...

The only people I know in real life who know about my blog are my husband and one friend. Hubby doesn’t check my blog and, like you, there is nothing he wouldn’t have already known. The one friend that reads my blog I have mixed emotions about. I told him because I needed some html help, and there was no way of explaining why other than explaining about the blog. The vast majority of the time I forget he is even reading it, and I feel totally free to say whatever I want. Occasional, maybe I’d even say “rarely,” there is something I change my mind about writing because I know he is reading it.

It’s funny; it is such an open forum and anyone could come across it, but yet we want to keep it a secret from so many people. I always wonder if that says something about me or bloggers in general. If I really wanted to write and not have others read it, wouldn’t it be easier to keep a paper journal? Why is it sometimes so much easier to connect with strangers than our friends and family?

Anyway, enough of my blithering. I so enjoy your blog BTW.

Midwestern Deadbeat said...

I'm stunned by the synchronicity here. I've JUST been blogging about these very issues--anonymity vs. identifying myself, both wanting and not wanting to tell friends, the pros and cons of anonymity, etc. Add to this that I just yesterday told my husband about my blog (with mixed results), and through a strange set of coincidences, I've just been spotted and recognized by a friend. I'm left feeling awkward and embarrassed--I confessed some pretty "sensitive" information, shall we say--and also relieved.

I'll keep an eye on the comments here and may chime in again later; these are all topics of great interest to me. Thanks for posting.

Orange said...

I'm "out" to all my close friends and to my husband. And to my husband's sister. My own sister took umbrage at not being given the URL when she learned I had a blog, and took it upon herself to hunt it down. (She discovered that I don't share her opinions on a number of topics. I knew that all along. She just figured everyone who doesn't disagree with her openly must agree with her. Hah!) My husband has no interest in reading the blog, can't be enticed to it. One or two friends try to check in from time to time, but don't comment. The other friends can't be bothered to look at it. Which kinda pisses me off: If I had a column in the newspaper, they'd run to the corner and buy a copy to be supportive. But I write a blog and they can't be bothered? Pfft. (They do not share my blogoholism.)

But since my sister might peek in from time to time, there are certain things I won't discuss openly. Another complicating factor is that there are some acquaintances from another setting who drop by the blog—and let's say I opt to post another cheesecake photo, and then I see these people next March and they stare at my chest? Do I care? I don't know yet.

Mignon said...

Orange, ditto! Husband? Knows about it, doesn't care. Friends? Know about it, sorta care, don't comment. Guy up the street? Knows about it, cares and comments to me personally all the time in a sad kind of get-a-life way.
But my mom knows, which limits my ability to cathartically rag on her and talk about sex. Two things I love to do. Oh well. Forces me to be more creative and practice writing that "someday" syndicated column which would most likely not include discussing vibrators and why my mom is nuts. (Mom, if you've wandered over here - just kidding!!!!!)

Denise said...

How funny, one of my friends was just asking me about this. I did send my URL to a few friends, originally--a little self-promoting, I guess, but I was afraid no one would ever read it. Some read it once, others never gave any indication of ever looking at it, others have read it regularly. One friend used to read it regularly but then she said that when she saw me she already knew all my news.

Oddly, some of the people I thought would be interested (mothers, people who like to write) have not been that interested, whereas some people I wouldn't have expected (my friends' husbands) tell me they are "addicted."

I haven't shared the link w/ my parents yet, but thinking that I might some day has led me to some self-censorship, which may not be a bad idea anyway.

Midwestern Deadbeat said...

I can echo everyone's sentiments about the husband being uninterested. After an initial bout of pique, consternation, and hurt feelings, prompting me to write a public "I'm an asshole" post, he hasn't looked at it again! Since I was accidentally found by a friend, I admit I have felt more reluctant to be 100% candid and/or to write something outrageous. Mignon's point is a good one, though: maybe this will force me to be more creative. At the very least, I can craft more elaborate disguises for my "characters."

Feral Mom said...

I force my husband to read my blog. Every time I post, I pester him: "Have you read my blog today?" I keep at it until he reads. He always says the same thing, "very funny" but never ever ever comments. I have a friend (a close one, mind you) who says "I just can't bring myself to read your blog. I just can't. Don't ask me to." What do you suppose that means? Oh...to those of you "out" to your parents? YOU ARE HARDCORE.