tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post5568666016639127436..comments2023-12-11T08:19:00.272-05:00Comments on DoctorMama: Is Nana Right? Am I Doing Something WRONG with HB?—Advice WelcomeDoctorMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05187502628715846144noreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-22942978796265952212008-08-28T14:11:00.000-04:002008-08-28T14:11:00.000-04:00Sounds like you have a child. Enjoy.Come over to ...Sounds like you have a child. <BR/><BR/>Enjoy.<BR/><BR/>Come over to www.sybermoms.com I think you will fit right in.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-22959375198820831092007-10-17T14:26:00.000-04:002007-10-17T14:26:00.000-04:00He sounds like he will grow up to be maybe an INTJ...He sounds like he will grow up to be maybe an INTJ or an ENTJ. Google it. These folks are formidable but accomplish great things. You can't change his innate personality and it's great that you give him freedom to accomplish things on his own. You sound like a great momAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-72751710761770120902007-10-14T11:32:00.000-04:002007-10-14T11:32:00.000-04:00A few people have pointed this out: "I'm going to...A few people have pointed this out: <BR/><BR/>"I'm going to add one thing, and feel free to tell me where to stick it, but since you asked... it does sound like you've allowed your son to get his way via tantrums." <BR/><BR/>The anonymous clinical psychologist also weighed in "I know it is difficult, especially with your first child to figure out how to nurture your child's self-esteem and Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-72574839497669361142007-09-18T14:32:00.000-04:002007-09-18T14:32:00.000-04:00I just have a book for you. It's certainly not a "...I just have a book for you. It's certainly not a "magic bullet" or "fix-all" sort of thing, but it describes some operant conditioning techniques that may be helpful for you when dealing with HB. :) (And personally, I love that character. I find him charming. So I don't mind the nickname at all. ;-) ) Using some of the techniques helps me step back too and assess what I'm doing. It makes the Barbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16067045642285877560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-57242262908131526912007-08-21T10:40:00.000-04:002007-08-21T10:40:00.000-04:00It sounds like it's just a combination of things: ...It sounds like it's just a combination of things: his age and personality. My aunt gave me a great piece of advice I hold on to (I have a very willful 2 year old boy): Be glad you have an energetic, willful child, they do much better in school. Ok, I'm hanging on to that so I hope no one comes back with a story about their kid being rotten in school.<BR/><BR/>I work full-time, also, and I findAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-11935020049279423792007-08-14T20:39:00.000-04:002007-08-14T20:39:00.000-04:00Well crap, DM, I dunno. I've got two with ASD/SID...Well crap, DM, I dunno. I've got two with ASD/SID issues and I agree with your (sliiiightly defensive, but highly informative) assessment of notthat. I don't think it's the work thing. I only spent about six months working fulltime outside the home like, ever, and my Animals were five-ish, two-ish, and one-ish, and actually behaved better, yes, BETTER when I was working. Don't suppose it'd beElizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13788282464956879318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-87328539183286091632007-08-14T17:20:00.000-04:002007-08-14T17:20:00.000-04:00Wow! You have my child! And my mother-in-law! Frea...Wow! You have my child! And my mother-in-law! Freakish. Except in my case I have a two-year-old girl and the father-in-law from hell. <BR/><BR/>I just started a new "temper tantrum" plan and it is slowly having a bit of an impact. When she throws manipulative tantrums (i.e. screaming to watch a DVD for the fiftieth time, get another juice, etc.) I ignore her for 5 minutes. I just go about my Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12956355582644290894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-46379376424393254142007-08-13T00:30:00.000-04:002007-08-13T00:30:00.000-04:00My 3.5 year old daughter sounds similar to HB. Ri...My 3.5 year old daughter sounds similar to HB. Right now she's holding a really strong grudge against the wind, because you know, it BLEW on her. Nasty, rude wind. Seriously, how do respond to that when it causes a 15-minute screamfest? What could I say or do differently to make the wind not blow on us when we go outside? <BR/><BR/>She has been intense since birth. Actually scratch that, she Wabihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11197718938974431186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-84234577677213079122007-08-12T14:22:00.000-04:002007-08-12T14:22:00.000-04:00It's possible that the carseat is uncomfortable--h...It's possible that the carseat is uncomfortable--hurts his back, makes him stiff, say. A little pillow or small folded towel might change the fit. Maybe you could try it out in the house and ask what is the most comfy. (And the fit might change during the ride. Maybe adjust it after rest stops.) My daughter was fine with the carseat, but it was long trips were hard for her; kids in carseats Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-41139096017671506702007-08-11T20:21:00.000-04:002007-08-11T20:21:00.000-04:00We had the same trouble with ours and he is now al...We had the same trouble with ours and he is now almost 6. It doesn't absolutely get better, or at least it didn't for us. We had to start making him play by himself for an hour or so every day just so we could cook dinner or whatever without him hanging off our arms. He still wants to spend every waking moment with us and doesn't entertain himself as well as I would like. The only thing that Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-51000788176502808382007-08-09T18:54:00.000-04:002007-08-09T18:54:00.000-04:00Hi - Just wanted to echo this from Sara's Sad Alte...Hi - Just wanted to echo this from Sara's Sad Alter Ego:<BR/><BR/>"Also, some people just have naturally intense temperaments - and that's just how it is. I think the best thing is NOT being critical of that...understanding that for him things are very intense and not blaming him for the fact that he's sensitive. The worst moments I remember are the few when my mom made me feel bad for being likeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-44344978338173347572007-08-09T01:06:00.000-04:002007-08-09T01:06:00.000-04:00The description of your son sounds exactly my daug...The description of your son sounds exactly my daughter. She's 12 now and is still willfull nad prone to crying fits. I hope it gets better for you, you certainly seem to be doing a better job than I did when she was 3.Emma in Canadahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17058142553612290594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-23793187789524531542007-08-08T19:04:00.000-04:002007-08-08T19:04:00.000-04:00DoctorMama, you have an extremely dificult, demand...DoctorMama, you have an extremely dificult, demanding, high-need kid who not infrequently drives you crazy. <BR/><BR/>Why *not* get some professional advice about how to cope with the little hellion? <BR/><BR/>My husband has a colleague who had a few run-ins with his incompetent secretary. He finally lost his temper and yelled at her. She complained to management and they required him to have Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-74552935368608194542007-08-08T17:03:00.000-04:002007-08-08T17:03:00.000-04:00Recommendations for children who really need to be...Recommendations for children who really need to be in control include allowing them only limited choices (you can have an apple or a banana) so that life is a bit more manageable for you but they feel they have some kind of control.<BR/><BR/>For children who have mild attachment issues ("clingy") then perhaps giving him something of yours - preferably with a smell of you on it - to take with himDrSpousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07259337858075146058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1534409026529314272007-08-08T08:25:00.000-04:002007-08-08T08:25:00.000-04:00My daugter was hellonwhells for the first 4 years ...My daugter was hellonwhells for the first 4 years of life. She was high-strung, strong-willed, and NEVER slept. After several doctor office visits, it was decided that she needed her tonsils removed. Lo and behold, she is a completely different child. She sleeps, she is much more willing to "bend," and I cannot express how grateful I am for the ENT (3rd choice) who did the surgery. <BR/>I Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-84449472950411353512007-08-08T01:30:00.000-04:002007-08-08T01:30:00.000-04:00"it is mostly a matter of degree, but it's also th..."it is mostly a matter of degree, but it's also that he almost never amuses himself."<BR/><BR/>She will watch TV (DVDs) by herself but if she sees you aren't around she wants you to watch them with her.<BR/><BR/>She will rarely play by herself--I mean I can count on the fingers of one hand.<BR/><BR/>But the issue is not that she can't but that she won't. Is it that he won't? <BR/><BR/>Lots of Ozmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02975578823318395358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-88778441079242541312007-08-07T21:21:00.000-04:002007-08-07T21:21:00.000-04:00I haven't read all the comments, so forgive me if ...I haven't read all the comments, so forgive me if I repeat anyone's.<BR/><BR/>First, is he freakygenius smart? My daughter's same age to the day, nearly, friend boy is (they're 6) and life is difficult for him, but his mama's an angst maiden, too. It's hard to be freakygenius smart--overstimulation happens everywhere.<BR/><BR/>Second, he's THREE! He has no control over much of anything in his Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-20074507360542438452007-08-07T14:22:00.000-04:002007-08-07T14:22:00.000-04:00I think he sounds like my son a lot, who just turn...I think he sounds like my son a lot, who just turned three in July. I work and my husband is home with him the majority of the time, so I just assumed his desire to have me RIGHT THERE when I was home was part of that. If I don't come home until after he goes to sleep, he is fine. <BR/><BR/>I think you are doing the right thing and it pretty much what I am doing - working with their desires eviechttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16213878045484697029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-31550435971084050762007-08-07T10:24:00.000-04:002007-08-07T10:24:00.000-04:00Just chiming in to say that you've pretty much des...Just chiming in to say that you've pretty much described my almost 3 year old. She has always, always, always hated being in the car. I could never understand those people who used to drive their newborns around to get them to sleep. Ours shrieked like the carseat was on fire from the time she got in until she got out. And she's not much better now. We try to travel during nap time, but she Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-51466747571487875852007-08-07T02:01:00.000-04:002007-08-07T02:01:00.000-04:00Just wanted to say that 3yrs old is a hard time. I...Just wanted to say that 3yrs old is a hard time. I stay home with my daughter and she always wants to be with me (carried, playing and sleeping) so don't think that it is because you go to work. More likely it is simply because you bring him the most comfort. He sounds pretty normal to me. Is there anything you could do for your mother-in-law so that she could be less "herself"? Hang in there!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-34308961919304211162007-08-07T01:44:00.000-04:002007-08-07T01:44:00.000-04:00I wouldn't completely discount the idea that he mi...I wouldn't completely discount the idea that he might need more sleep. The Kurcinka book says 37- to 60-month-olds need an average of 12 hours of sleep (including naps) per 24-hour period. That he doesn't fight sleep at 9:30 and that he awakens on his own in the morning are definitely positive signs, but I'd always thought that my kid needed less sleep than average—and he was a hellion. A kid Orangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433254398377357737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-58940309557904731142007-08-06T22:45:00.000-04:002007-08-06T22:45:00.000-04:00My cousin Betsy, who is a very wise person and a m...My cousin Betsy, who is a very wise person and a mother of six boys, says that "Three-year-olds are just two-year-olds that can talk. Don't expect so much from them." HB is a good boy - he's just three.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-80326242311299658992007-08-06T18:52:00.000-04:002007-08-06T18:52:00.000-04:00Sorry I don't have time to read all the comments t...Sorry I don't have time to read all the comments to see if I'm repeating what has already been said, but here are some things that I found useful for mothering my especially willful child. (He's tried bossing the traffic lights around too. He also is apparently a cartographer and knows directions better than we do.) In our case I think "age-appropriate," "willful" and "strong-minded" explain Nataliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10356235283933468614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-78846917209857440342007-08-06T18:25:00.000-04:002007-08-06T18:25:00.000-04:00If your child wants to be with you all the time it...If your child wants to be with you all the time it *could* indicate that he is very afraid that you will leave him. This might link to being allowed to sleep in your bed. Should he learn to be ok by himself? It might build his confidence and make his attachment to you more secure. A child leaving his bed for yours is usually afraid; if his attachment is secure he will manage on his own at night. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10182857328067554812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-7890823108162026792007-08-06T11:52:00.000-04:002007-08-06T11:52:00.000-04:00My only advice is to read "Raising Your Spirited C...My only advice is to read "Raising Your Spirited Child." I read it when my daughter was 3, when I realized that some things are just more intense w/ her, and am about to read it again, 18 months later. It doesn't try to "cure" any behaviors--just gives you tools for managing/understanding your reactions to some behaviors, and to help your child manage his reactions. At this age, it's probably Erikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01011127145903623536noreply@blogger.com