tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post114090893460724350..comments2023-12-11T08:19:00.272-05:00Comments on DoctorMama: Letting It GoDoctorMamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05187502628715846144noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1142049657460884982006-03-10T23:00:00.000-05:002006-03-10T23:00:00.000-05:00How did I miss this post? I can identify with a lo...How did I miss this post? I can identify with a lot of this as we are 97% there in terms of "just say no" to more IF crap. I guess the difference is because of hang-ups about only stuff (after losing a sibling), our decision has always been IVF vs. adoption, not IVF vs. nothing. So its not only wrestling with being okay with no more IF treatment, its being okay with learning a new, equally Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141672536672981522006-03-06T14:15:00.000-05:002006-03-06T14:15:00.000-05:00Good perspectives, grendler and emjaybee.And Docto...Good perspectives, grendler and emjaybee.<BR/><BR/>And DoctorMama, I can understand why it would make you sad to put it down in writing. It's *such* a hard decision. I have a friend who decided to stop with her one wonderful five-year-old girl, and she said even though she knew it was the right thing for her and her family, she still had to grieve when the decision was really made.<BR/><BR/>I E.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10023959769203103393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141459674302234872006-03-04T03:07:00.000-05:002006-03-04T03:07:00.000-05:00As they say in School House Rock...A man and a wom...As they say in School House Rock...<BR/><BR/>A man and a woman had a little baby. <BR/>Yes they did.<BR/>They had three in their family.<BR/><BR/>And three is a magic number.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141326841298881972006-03-02T14:14:00.000-05:002006-03-02T14:14:00.000-05:00hello there. this is the first time i've read you...hello there. this is the first time i've read your blog, and what a powerful post to discover. although i have not gone thro' infertility treatment, your words have resonated for me on so many levels--especially as i consider adding another kid to the mix with my own HellBoy, and as i also confront the realization that although i would walk through fire for him, baby-caring is not fulflling forgingajoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01356643079413822527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141230493993702832006-03-01T11:28:00.000-05:002006-03-01T11:28:00.000-05:00I hear you! I have been TTC for over 2 years. I'...I hear you! I have been TTC for over 2 years. I've been to the RE, had four attempts before they found out my tubes were open with HSG (couldn't insert catheter), Clomid, progesterone suppositories, metformin, PCOS, ovarian cysts, OPKs, laparoscopy and a million blood draws.<BR/><BR/>We've decided to adopt from China while we still try for a little while longer. My RE has written a script for Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141182655004392192006-02-28T22:10:00.000-05:002006-02-28T22:10:00.000-05:00Thanks for all the words of support. It made me a ...Thanks for all the words of support. It made me a little sad to actually put this decision down in writing. But:<BR/>"like finally dropping out of a school where you're failing and not even knowing if you want to graduate and work in that field" -- yep, yep.DoctorMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05187502628715846144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141079313206906912006-02-27T17:28:00.000-05:002006-02-27T17:28:00.000-05:00Many of the other commenters have already said it ...Many of the other commenters have already said it so well: thank you for your honesty and for sharing with us this hard-won wisdom. <BR/><BR/>I find the decision of whether to have a second child a tremendously difficult one for a lot of the reasons you mention, even without the added difficulty and uncertainty of fertility treatments. Your child can be the best thing that's ever happened to E.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10023959769203103393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141073805941006892006-02-27T15:56:00.000-05:002006-02-27T15:56:00.000-05:00This was a lovely post. I think you are very wise,...This was a lovely post. I think you are very wise, and though I know practically everyone commenting above me has quoted the same passage, I will quote it again because it bears repeating:<BR/>"You won't find your joy by being miserable every day, even if you're working toward a goal you think will probably be wonderful."<BR/>I have such a hard time remembering that. I should have it tattooed Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141071422897498022006-02-27T15:17:00.000-05:002006-02-27T15:17:00.000-05:00Bravo.Bravo.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141062935390724252006-02-27T12:55:00.000-05:002006-02-27T12:55:00.000-05:00Congratulations on finding your equilibrium. I thi...Congratulations on finding your equilibrium. I think this society doesn't lend a lot of support to any woman who feels that one kid (or pregnancy, or round of fertility treatment) is enough, so thanks for stating your feelings so eloquently that some other people can see how to put this in words.<BR/><BR/>For me, the decision is more out of my hands, but there's still a degree of choice in my Orangehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12433254398377357737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141061233850273972006-02-27T12:27:00.000-05:002006-02-27T12:27:00.000-05:00You are a very very smart woman. I am going to wri...You are a very very smart woman. I am going to write down that quote and keep it somewhere close. Good for you Doc. Good for you.Mignonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07716330276288396317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141060525344938202006-02-27T12:15:00.000-05:002006-02-27T12:15:00.000-05:00What a great attitude. Frankly, I have flashes of ...What a great attitude. Frankly, I have flashes of this and aspire to it long-term. How cool that you're ready to live in the moment. Very liberating. I look forward to reading your posts as you make this shift. :-)B.E.C.K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17692965288646024168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141057150073161022006-02-27T11:19:00.000-05:002006-02-27T11:19:00.000-05:00I am so happy for you -- I got pregnant twice with...I am so happy for you -- I got pregnant twice with minimal medical intervention, no IVF. Even though my visits to the fertility clinic (aka the henhouse) were not numerous and ultimately successful, I found them utterly soul-crushing. You are FREE.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1141019753291962662006-02-27T00:55:00.000-05:002006-02-27T00:55:00.000-05:00I LOVED "You won't find your joy by being miserabl...I LOVED "You won't find your joy by being miserable every day, even if you're working toward a goal you think will probably be wonderful." I'm 26 and I'm just starting to realize that even if I have no idea what I want to be eventually, if I manage to find joy and some measure of satisfaction in what I do every day, I will eventually find myself at some sort of now-unfathomable goal. At least, I Abacaxi Mamaohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06604184268628243496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1140994633565765002006-02-26T17:57:00.000-05:002006-02-26T17:57:00.000-05:00"You won't find your joy by being miserable every ..."You won't find your joy by being miserable every day, even if you're working toward a goal you think will probably be wonderful." Hmph. Can so. <BR/><BR/>All kidding aside, I've been waiting for this from you and I am glad. There is nothing wrong with doing what feels like the right thing for you and your body and your family. CONGRATULATIONS.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1140992541702211062006-02-26T17:22:00.000-05:002006-02-26T17:22:00.000-05:00I adopted, but still had a working uterus and poss...I adopted, but still had a working uterus and possibly functional reproductive system. The relief I felt after I had my uterus Bar-B-Qued (endometrial ablation) and cut off the possibility forever was...tremendous. You know, like finally dropping out of a school where you're failing and not even knowing if you want to graduate and work in that field.carolinagirl79https://www.blogger.com/profile/06284212448110505029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1140984347902390342006-02-26T15:05:00.000-05:002006-02-26T15:05:00.000-05:00Oh, I soooooo hear you on this one. Thanks for sa...Oh, I soooooo hear you on this one. Thanks for saying what so many of us only think.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1140982067283561792006-02-26T14:27:00.001-05:002006-02-26T14:27:00.001-05:00Thanks for this post. I am so happy that you have ...Thanks for this post. I am so happy that you have arrived at a decision that feels right for you. Your little boy is very lucky to have you as his mama. All the best, and every happiness.Feral Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08456760046606299779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1140982057316217842006-02-26T14:27:00.000-05:002006-02-26T14:27:00.000-05:00I like that you can write so honestly. More hones...I like that you can write so honestly. More honestly than some people can be with themselves.punchberryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00086504186069099231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1140981743788683472006-02-26T14:22:00.000-05:002006-02-26T14:22:00.000-05:00You are a smart woman.You know what you truly want...You are a smart woman.<BR/>You know what you truly want and need.<BR/>You have one son whom you adore.<BR/>Why have another and not be so happy?<BR/>Your son will feel loved and secure.<BR/>And his mother will be a happier mom because she followed her heart.<BR/>Enjoy your time with him and enjoy your life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1140968772743593502006-02-26T10:46:00.000-05:002006-02-26T10:46:00.000-05:00Wise, wise words. It's so tough not to live in on...Wise, wise words. It's so tough not to live in one's head in general, let alone with time-sensitive stuff hanging over it like the Lupron Needle of Frickin' Damocles.thumbscre.wshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04626759468694284273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1140941979663693752006-02-26T03:19:00.000-05:002006-02-26T03:19:00.000-05:00I totally hear you. I was looking at some of my o...I totally hear you. I was looking at some of my oldest's baby pics last night and thinking how we just really took the time to ENJOY his baby years. With the second one, it took us six years to get pregnant again, and being seven years older when I had him was so EXHAUSTING. I feel really guilty sometimes that I don't have the energy for him that I had for the first. I have to remind myself Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1140934971453960192006-02-26T01:22:00.000-05:002006-02-26T01:22:00.000-05:00I can't add anything to what you've said. I under...I can't add anything to what you've said. I understand so well how one child and a challenging career can be entirely enough, with little room for more. So all I can say is that this sounds like a genuine realization, a moment where you made the right decision. Those are so hard to come by. I'm happy you got to that place of finality--because it's so hard to find it sometimes.<BR/><BR/>This partAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15583952.post-1140927801524597912006-02-25T23:23:00.000-05:002006-02-25T23:23:00.000-05:00Your current post expresses feelings/ideas that I ...Your current post expresses feelings/ideas that I harbor, but do not really verbalize to anyone. Thank you for your honesty. I am new to your blog and I am enjoy reading it, even though I do not have children.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com